Mad as Hell

In the news today, thousands of white people gathered at the foot of the Lincoln Memorial to protest their continued dominance of American politics and culture.


A bunch o' white folk

A Bushel Load o' White Folk


“Look, we’ve seen this before,” opined Larry Tippits of Villisca, Iowa. “For all of the twentieth century white people were in control of politics, culture, and wealth. Hell, even “the first black president” was white! And that trend only continues today; there’s what, one African American senator? And that’s Roland Burris! No, we’ve had all we can take and we can’t take no more. We won’t be satisfied until people like me [Mr. Tippits self-identifies as “white, with some Cherokee from my great grandmother”] no longer dominate the halls of power and privilege.”

Mr. Tippit’s views appeared to be shared by the mono-chrome crowd who at one point heckled members of the House and Senate–speaking at the event on behalf of their re-election campaigns–with chants of “no taxation without representation!” When Senator Lamar Alexander broke from his rehearsed stump speech to point out that as an elected official he did, in fact, represent the people of Tennessee, he was met with shouts of “well I didn’t vote for you!”

Approached after the event, Senator Alexander threw up his arms and stated, “What the f@#$, don’t these people go to school? I’m in the middle of a stump speech talking to people who look exactly like me, and I have to stop and review the basics of a representative form of government? That’s a sure sign that f@#$ing white people have been in control of this government for far to long, and I won’t tolerate it!”

The event was not all verbal Caucasian on Caucasian violence, however. Lee Greenwood arrived to wow the crowd with a stirring rendition of the now-classic “I’m Proud to be an American.” As he left the stage he shouted to the gathered attendees, “Don’t let this be the end, make it the beginning! Take this crazy energy of yours and go out there and vote yourselves out of power! For the children!”

An official number of participants was unavailable as the park service no longer estimates crowd sizes at rallies held at the National Mall. However, one park ranger was overheard to say that there was a “whole bushel load of white folk” in attendance. defines a “bushel load” as greater than a “shit load,” but less than a “full load.”


30 thoughts on “Mad as Hell

  1. This is one of the most racist articles I have ever read. You are doing exactly what you accuse conservatives of doing. I watched this rally on CSPAN. It was not a political rally. It was a rally to restore America, all races, religions and beliefs. You are doing in this article, what the newspapers did to Martin Luther King Jr in 1963. Writing lies and hate. People who write articles like this is what is wrong with this country right now. As Dr Alinda King said at the rally. There is only one race. The human race. What was a beautiful thing, bringing unity to Americans, you criticize with venom and hate.

  2. Me thinks young young Ernie doesn’t get it. The point here (made using satire) is that the rallying cry of “take back my country” yelled by the very people who in larger still control the country is absurd. Also, this crowd is always largely white and they trot out a token black to deflect charges of racism but it is clear that what these people are talking about is a return to a white America and when they say unity they mean for whites to stick together. The fact of the matter is that the president won an overwhelming majority to win his office, as did the democrats in the last two elections. That is unity, that is coming together. But it wasn’t what the white right wanted so they threw around charged of being unamerican and complained about taxes even though their taxes have gone down. So if you think that people who call the president a racist, question his birth place, hate immigrants (especially muslims), and don’t want to pay their fair share of the tax burden are beautiful then you think anger and hate is beautiful. And that is ugly.

  3. Ernie: I hope it’s clear that the article was meant to be satirical. Not, mind you, that satire can’t be racist (See Laura Ingraham’s HIGHLY offensive new book), but I believe my use of stereotypes and hyperbole are well within the norm for the genre. If I am a little over the line, then, as a white person from a conservative western state, I claim the “Chris Rock rule”: the right to soundly mock the foibles and idiocies of people with whom I share a hue and cultural background.

    The Colbert ReportMon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c<td style='padding:2px 1px 0px 5px;' colspan='2'Laura Ingrahamhttp://www.colbertnation.com Report Full Episodes2010 ElectionFox News

    Mr. Rummples: Congratulations! I believe you are the very fist cat to post on this blog!

  4. For clarification, Lee Greenwood was not at that event. He was in Nashville, Tennessee, at his home with family. The article has a quote from Greenwood, that is false and was “shouted out” at the event.

    Kirt Webster
    publicist for Lee Greenwood
    615-777-6995 x230

  5. Kirt,
    Quite right, all quotes were made up in this satirical article. If you read this, please give my warm regards to Mr. Greenwood. I first saw him in concert at the Idaho state fair in Blackfoot Idaho in 1985. Great memories!

  6. This post simply demonstrates how that Great American, Glenn Beck, is so misunderstood by the left in this country.

    The purpose of the rally was not to bewail the growing sense of multi-culturalism or bemoan the shrinking political power of white people. It was to celebrate the growing percentages of non-white citizens who are embracing conservative values. Case in point, Beck’s very emotional tribute to black contributions to the country’s history.

    And, as Beck, reminded us, there’s no reason for white conservatives not to embrace the legacy of MLK. After all, his image may have been co-opted by the socialist-liberal agenda, but in his essence he is essentially a conservative icon. The civil rights movement itself was very conservative in nature – one man, one vote. No discrimination, no special considerations.

    In his speeches and writings, Dr. King advocated a return to the fundamental principles of the Constitution that guaranteed our basic rights and freedoms. Isn’t this exactly what we tea-partiers have been preaching all these months?

    If Dr. King were alive today, he would not have criticized Beck’s freedom and tolerance rally, as so many hate-filled liberals have done. He would have celebrated it, and perhaps even been the key-note speaker.

  7. @Sparky: Why do conservatives try to offend progressives by associating them with their heroes? That’s like me saying that Dick Cheney would high-five you if you shot your friend in the ass. As an aside, Joseph Smith, founder of Glenn Beck’s religion, was BY FAR the greatest community organizers in the history of the USA. Period.

    @Wayne Stater: Way not to disappoint!

  8. @Porter

    I can’t stand Dick Cheney nor 80% of what the W regime stood for…. But I’m glad to see you’re honest about Alinsky being your hero. That speaks volumes on the supposed tolerance of hard left ideologues such as yourself.

  9. “If I am a little over the line, then, as a white person from a conservative western state, I claim the “Chris Rock rule”: the right to soundly mock the foibles and idiocies of people with whom I share a hue and cultural background.”

    ….. golf clap……

  10. Sparky, since I don’t know you, let me try to get a handle on your politics before responding. Following your lead I’ll talk in percentages. Let’s assume from your, err, derisive?, comments that you are not a liberal, or that your politics are “right of center.” Meaning you exclude 60% of our imagined political scale. That leaves you 40% on the conservative end of the political scale to inhabit. Now, per your comment, you say that you “can’t stand” 80% of what the “W” regime stood for. As President G.W. Bush was clearly a conservative president (war mongering, deficit spending, cutting taxes for the rich without paying for them, deregulating, etc.), that means we must subtract that 80% from your remaining 40% of political spectrum.
    *does some rudimentary math… carries the 3… and…*

    That leaves us with 8%. So, if I understand you right, in a world of infinite possibilities you posses the ideological capacity to consider less than one tenth of all possible solutions to political problems. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging your narrow mindedness. I just like to understand who I’m in dialogue with.

  11. I’m a person that lives a conservative lifestyle but has strong libertarian views…. I’m also in favor of original intent when it comes to the Constitution. And when it comes to to make a change in the Constitution, then by all means, use the system as it was intended and change it. But the decades of ignoring the Constitution nearly carte blanche have to end.

  12. The best part is this….. with all of your supposed education… you somehow think these Tea Party is about race?…. and here I thought you were an educated man.

  13. But again, I’m not exactly sure how this video is relevant to the gathering in DC. As I didn’t hear anything about race in the bits that I saw from the event. Maybe you watched a different gathering?

    Again, Alinsky is proud to have you on board. You’re doing quite well at diverting from the reality of the actual subject matter of which you claim to be parodying.

  14. And for one that’s supposed to be from the side that does all of their research and doesn’t pass judgment without careful study…. you quickly jumped to stereotypes…. nice…. classy.

  15. So Beck calls the president of the United States of America a racist and then holds a rally in DC comprised almost entirely of white people…. and it’s not about race? Time to put down the crack pipe, Sparky.

    Beck made this all about race by claiming to “take back the civil rights movement from progressives.” If you tell me the tea parties aren’t about race and disavow all the racists that frequent tea party events, then I salute you and will agree with you. But that means you have to disavow Glenn Beck, including his rally to co-opt the legacy of MLK.

    We’ve done this before. I’ve no real interest in doing it again. I’d much rather just agree to disagree and be all friendly like. Though I don’t care for what I see in the reaction to Pres. Obama’s election on the right, I know that you are a thoughtful observer of politics, and more importantly that you practice a brand of conservatism that I respect (though disagree with).

    The point of this article was to be amusing and perhaps even funny. Clearly I failed in your estimation, and that (failing to be funny), incidentally, would have been a far more stinging critique than anything you could say about my well known political stance. Nader 2016!!

    /bury hatchet

  16. LOL!

    I find this funny coming from you Porter… since you and Pete were the ones that drove the rest of us from the Wallaboo site by your childish name calling. Don’t believe me? Ask any of the moderate/conservative/libertarian Wallas yourself….

  17. Hatchet still buried, dude. I feel really bad about how things worked out on I sincerity apologize for my role in the contentiousness of those discussions. I like arguing, I’m a sucker for it. And I like arguing about politics. In the early days I imagined our conversations as a jocular mutual ribbing. But once the wink and the smile went out of the conversation I didn’t know how to stop the ball rolling. Clearly a failure on my part, but one I’m not going to repeat.

    The ball has stopped rolling. I respect you and your beliefs, even if I disagree with them.

    It’s my hope that we’ll be able to strike up non-political conversations on shared topics of interest in the future; Tolkien, family, music, etc.

  18. I think Sparky likes Nader over President Obama for reasons I’m not gonna say.
    Must be a bit uneducated, as he seems to mock educated people every time he is outwitted. Yes, Mr. Stringham, I’m smug, and yes, I’m educated, but you don’t have to hate me for it.
    Porter, you’re the most intelligent, analytical person I know when it comes to politics and social issues. Don’t let the panicked fury of the right wear you down.

  19. Spanky :
    I think Sparky likes Nader over President Obama for reasons I’m not gonna say.
    Must be a bit uneducated, as he seems to mock educated people every time he is outwitted. Yes, Mr. Stringham, I’m smug, and yes, I’m educated, but you don’t have to hate me for it.
    Porter, you’re the most intelligent, analytical person I know when it comes to politics and social issues. Don’t let the panicked fury of the right wear you down.

    I like Nader better than Obama because Nader isn’t a bought and paid for corporatist like Obama.

  20. @Diana
    I meant to comment when you wrote this. I agree with Diana. Funny! And I can think of worse people to high five than someone who says:

    “One of the most important things in life is what Judge Learned Hand described as ‘that ever-gnawing inner doubt as to whether you’re right.’ If you don’t have that, if you think you’ve got an inside track to absolute truth, you become doctrinaire, humorless and intellectually constipated. The greatest crimes in history have been perpetrated by such religious and political and racial fanatics, from the persecutions of the Inquisition on down to Communist purges and Nazi genocide.”

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